desperation

u wudnt understand.

2009-11-28T01:01:00.000+08:00

suddenly i felt like im missing something.

& i want it back.

i felt like its gone forever. its falling out to pieces.

i cant hardly see myself as i used to.

im mean.

that explains.

sigh

take me away~

2009-11-24T01:47:00.000+08:00

hola. i cant breathe this month. been missing alot of ppl & i felt retarded like i dont even time for myself.

boohoo~ *self pitying myself* (got such word meh?)

its truly unpredictable like wads gonna happen nxt.

good news is: december is gonna be truckloads of endless fun!

& gonna meetup with tons of earthlings tho. c u there bitches! =)

its kinda weird tat nowadays, those u thought were in the past actually came back nowadays.

its awkward, but ya know. who the hell cares.

till now, i just cant seems to open my heart out to anyone, or issit tat my expectation is not met.

Or! it just have to happen spontaneously. like it always does.

yes i do i do, dates, but i dun like the term of it, i prefered to be called as chilling outs?

sometimes some ppl just took the wrong turn of my "kindness" and push it the other way round.

which eventually, let me to the guilt side. & i will eventually feel like shit all over again.

i just dun wanna think about it.

its so absurd. so yesterday.

i know im gonna repeat myself ZILLION times, i really need a breakaway vacation.

i wanna go to somewhere there is SUN. sand.SEA. obviously its the beach,

with me suntanning and just enjoying the breeze.

& probably just hot brazilian man surfing, and doing their thing? *melts.

i have an eye for man who are TAN, lean & shoulder length wavy hair. ohhh gawd.

they are just the BOMB. nb cb. okay i sound like a maniac.

okay shall update more about my upcoming events coming up!

holla yolla. =)

come away with me.

2009-10-29T00:54:00.000+08:00

sigh there's so many signs of ppl dying this year.

even those whom are at a very young age. creepy.

but its all in the God's hands. ku berserah.

im starting to improve in my career. i guess i'll stay for now, as much as i know i cant possibly further my studies. i was born to be diff. to learn from mistakes, & gain better knowledge.

but still I NEED a DIPLOMA no matter wad.

its just a matter of time.

& OHH im eggcited for 12 december.

who's joinin my babies?

lets dance all night long. & show me watcha got there.

HAHA.

i know im laughing at my own self. im retarded. -.-

ive been trying to get myself preoccupied with frens & family cos ive been trying to avoid tat feeling of mine.

its a major torture. n as far as much i want to destroy those memories it wasnt doing any good at all.

so i'll just have to bear with it. till someone replace that.

i hardly cud tell when will that be, cos im too scard of relationship.

i know i sound so weird. but its the fact i have to face. im not serious with anyone right now.

its all just dates & just frens & the term i called "casual meetings"

but i did i did like that guyy.

cos he turns me on(not really) i was comfortable with him.cos we werent so formal.but he disappeared. & so now, im scared as hell to fall in love again.

=S so lets just be friends now yahh boyys?

u play around with fire, u cant discover my desire.HAHAH.

but but. i love what i have now.=))
i dun wanna fish around, cos u only live once.

P.S: its time to lose control

2009-09-21T06:43:00.000+08:00

"Genius is eternal patience.

A kiss is a lovely trick designed by nature to stop speech when words become superfluous."

I saw u today, & then u disappeared later.

& wen we saw each other, break of silence seems to appear.

i cudnt help myself but to wait.

cos i just cant seems to get u outta my head~

it wasnt bad at all, it was a perfect bliss.

* u left me unintended

give me answers to reduce this confusion

i just dun undstnd. confusion strikes.

P.S: A man reserves his true and deepest love not for the species of woman in whose company he finds himself electrified and enkindled, but for that one in whose company he may feel tenderly drowsy.

2009-09-15T03:27:00.003+08:00

Inhaling whatever that ive to put through.

yet exhaling with the fact that its never gonna be the same again.

oohh if u only know. & i saw u walk away, slowly drifting apart from me.

cudnt resist wadsoever between us.BLAHHH.

yes i know, ive been such an ass not too be updating constantly as time is very crucial nowadays.

im retarded from the actual fact that i dun even have time for myself.

one word:

HELL.

work has been fun. but life has been always unfair wen someone so close had to go.

boohoo~

Kimie. *crossfinger

i hope they wont transfer her out. dammnit.

tats how much im so not looking for work these days.

things will never be the same again man.

urgghhh.

why why why?

i need a miracle.

& y ppl are so worried about me being alone for the meantime?

i know im picky.but im perfectly fine.

i can survive.

in the meantime, im left hanging. im still patiently waiting.

u know wad i mean.

im getting darn bored with Singapura~

i need a major vacation, to basically to get away from everything & just have tons tons of FUN & excitement going on. Well, eventually u know it will never happen. So dream on, Sue.=p

it triggers my alarm wen the sight of u send shivers down my spine.

i miss u asshole~

i want that syeesha at Come Om tat i had last saturday.

& OREO DONUTS plss.

anak sape pulak lah aku mengandung ni mengidam?

P.S: somebody told me...........

2009-08-28T00:40:00.000+08:00

I don't know what to say
I don't know what to say
Anymore cus its all been said before
And I don't know where you are
All I know is your far
And your not coming back
If this is how it goes
I tried but I dont know

I don't know if I like it
Without you, without you, without you, ooo
Tell me how im supposed to make it
Without you, without you, without you
You got me crying tonight
Is this what its gonna be like
I try and act like im fine but I will never be right
Without youuuuu, without youuuu, without youuuu
Without you I don't know

Im not sure how to feel
Im not sure what I feel
Anymore cus I never felt that big
Sometimes it hurts me so bad
Its the words gotta say
And I cant live like that
I don't wanna be alone
I tried but I don't know

I don't know if I like it
Pixie Lott Without You lyrics found on http://www.directlyrics.com/pixie-lott-without-you-lyrics.html
Without you, without you, without you, ooo
Tell me how im supposed to make it
Witout you, without you, without you
You got me crying tonight
Is this what its gonna be like
I try and act like im fine but I will never be right
Without youuuuu, without youuuu, without youuuu
Without you I don't know

The one thing I do know
That im so sure of
Cus with you gone im lost
And im so confused I cant deal with it no more
Without you I cant see it, take this pain from me
So I can make room for you,
Cus you've been gone from me for too long
I don't know

I don't know if I like it
Without you, without you, without you, ooo
Tell me how im supposed to make it
Witout you, without you, without you
You got me crying tonight
Is this what its gonna be like
I try and act like im fine but I will never be right
Without youuuuu, without youuuu, without youuuu
Without you I dont know

2009-08-25T01:41:00.000+08:00

u leave me by suprise.=))

ooo im getting lethargic.

i cudnt remember since was the last time i literally had so much fun.

so, earthlings, lets go~!

ive been such a wonderful angel at my own space.

oh wth. this is so not me bitch.

& pay day is another 5 more days.

which means i have to suffer my weekends n endure this shitt tt i have to go tru.

i swear my money is losing out from my pockets soon.

i need to get that label shop till i drop label from my forehead, before i really2, go insane!

okay diamm suee. so yes. my major plan now.

is to buke puase with my baby bitches.

omg. i cant belive i dun even have time for myself. so sadd nyer.

n saya nak mabokk syeeeesha sampai saye batokk mcm nyonya jamban bawah blok! ( means im gonna die anytime soon)

n i wanna watch final destination!. but someone already booked me. bahhh.

P.S: she's tired of chasing u around.=)